Can't Stop
by Jasmine Shigeru
Summary: 11 of 15. Millie just can't help herself. Knives is getting to her.
1. Chapter 1

Can't Stop

Part One (Millie's POV)

It has been nearly 3 months since we moved from December. 3 months since Meryl, Mr. Vash, Matt, Mr. Knives and I have found ourselves a new home. 2 months have passed since Mr. Knives tried to runaway. And it has been 2 years and 2 months since we lost my Nicholas.

Time passes so quickly.

I find it hard to believe that my dear Nicholas has been dead for well over a year. A year since he was stolen form us.

I can't help but cry every time I think of him. Think about all of the time he missed. How he missed Mr. Vash and Meryl finally getting together. How he missed Mr. Knives downfall. And how he missed our son growing inside me. He's missed so much. Matt's birth, Matt's first steps, Matt's first words.

The burning sadness I feel when I think about all of these things are so unmatched. Never had I ever felt such a deep pain.

Sometimes I find myself wishing that I never met the fallen priest. At least, then I wouldn't feel the pain that never seems to lesson over time. But then I remember that he gave me Matt and I am glad that we had a brief moment in time to be together. Then the loneliness comes and I think about being with another man. For months I couldn't bare the thought but as time passed, the guilt lessons and the possibility of me actually dating someone was becoming more appealing.

I can't believe how long it has been and now I fear that I find myself moving on pass my love for my dear Nicholas. Not that I love him less but I find myself wondering about another man, a man I am terribly afraid of.

I'm developing a crush on Mr. Knives. I know this crush has more to do with his dangerous good looks and nothing else. I do not talk to the man. I do not bring him his meals or anything that would require me to get to know him.

I even try not to stare at him. He still frightens me with his eyes so cold and as sharp as his name.

I'm afraid to know him. I'm afraid to be drawn into his hate filled world. But I am drawn to him. He's like a magnet slowly pulling me to him and I don't know how to stop it.

END of Pt. 1


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Weeks pass and I am still afraid of Mr. Knives. I don't understand why. He doesn't do anything, not to me or to Meryl. The only person he ever speaks to is Mr. Vash. He doesn't really do anything besides that.

Mr. Knives used to only stay in his room, but now, I don't know why, he's been venturing out of his room. It was on a Monday when I found this out.

I was carrying Matt into the kitchen when I froze at the sight of Mr. Knives at the table. He was seated peacefully drinking some of Meryl's tea. He did not look up at me or anything. He just pretended I wasn't there. If it wasn't for my son's insistent cries for his breakfast, I probably would have turned around and went back to me room.

For a week, I continued to be surprised by Mr. Knives in the kitchen. I said nothing to him and he said noting to me. I just went about feeding Mathew and myself, chatting to my son as I did.

It was on a Tuesday when I first notice Mr. Knives' rolling his eyes at my chatter. The following Friday, I heard him groan. By the next week, I was groaning and rolling my eyes as well. Mr. Knives was annoying me as much as I was annoying him.

That Thursday, I confronted Mr. Knives.

"Mr. Knives," I said in a huff. "What is it about me that you find annoying?"

At first, Mr. Knives didn't acknowledge me. He sat at the table for another minute, taking a sip of his tea, then he calmly placed the cup and saucer down on top of the table. He stood up to face me and for the first time we stared into each other's eyes.

"You are an insufferable woman," he said in a quiet, angry voice. "You are an annoyance and a pest."

"I am a good person who is trying to care for her son," I argued back.

"You are a stain on this planet," he said. "Just like every human on this planet."

"Well, you're a jerk," I stuttered back. "That's why no one likes being around you. No one likes you. You're going to die a grumpy old man with no family. You're going to die alone."

Mr. Knives was angry, very angry. His left eye twitched and his lips were pressed so tightly together that they turned white. His fist clenched and unclenched. He looked as if he was going to hit me.

Mathew's playful giggle was probably the only thing that stopped my possible attacker.

We both looked around the room and saw that my son had left. We looked at the open front door. How Matt got it opened we would never know.

Mr. Knives and I ran out. We frantically looked around for my son.

I gasped when he saw my son near a parked Thomas. I nearly fainted when Mathew's high pitched baby giggle scared the animal and it reared back in fear, preparing to stomp my baby.

I froze unable to move. Every thing seemed to move in slow motion. I saw Mr. Knives run out and grab Matt. The Thomas's hooves hit the ground. Then everything went back to normal speed and I began to breathe again.

Relieved, I ran to hold my baby in my arms and smother him in kisses.

Strained, Mr. Knives fainter. I guess he pushed himself too hard too soon.

I crouched down and placed a worried hand on his chest, thinking maybe Mr. Knives wasn't always such a bad guy.

END OF PT.2


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three

The week after Mr. Knives saved my son, I really couldn't keep my eyes off of him. It was like I was staring at a different man. Mr. Knives wasn't the cold-blooded killer I always thought he was. He was just this could. He was now a man with a heart, man who didn't always want to destroy humanity, but a person who might want to save it.

Now that I knew Mr. Knives could be good, every time I saw him I stared and I wondered what other good deed be could do if he put his mind to it. Could he be like his brother and help complete strangers, expecting little reward for his efforts? I was so unsure.

Exactly two weeks after Mr. Knives saved Mathew from being crushed, I was walking pass Mr. Knives' room. I couldn't help myself, I looked inside to see him sitting on his bed. I was shocked. This was normal. He often did this. What was shocking was he was staring at me.

Mr. Knives' icy blue eyes glared into my soft blue ones. I could tell he knew I had been watching him for the past couple of weeks, because the look he gave me said stop.

I gasped, then gulped, my eyes wide at being caught. A shiver of guilt ran up and down my spine.

"S-Sorry, Mr. Knives," I stuttered in a squeaky voice.

"You are not," Mr. Knives said in a deathly calm voice.

"Ye-Yes, I am," I said.

Mr. Knives stood and approached me.

"You are lying to me spider," he said using 'spider' as a curse.

I backed away into the hallway.

"Why have you been staring at me?"

"I-I-I'm not sure," I sad backing into the wall.

Mr. Knives stopped only two inches from me. He was close enough to be a threat, but far enough that we did not make physical contact.

"Well, stop it," Mr. Knives snapped at me.

I nodded mutely and Mr. Knives turned, walked back into his bedroom, and slammed his door shut.

I remained at the wall, whimpering back my tears. It wasn't long before Meryl found me.

"Millie," she asked calmly. "What's wrong?"

"Mr. Knives," I sniffled.

I did not look at her.

"What did that antisocial maniac do?" Meryl asked instantly becoming angry.

"Nothing really," I answer. " He just told me to stop staring at him.

"Why do you keep staring at him?"

"He fascinates me," I answered finally looking my friend in the eye. She was all blurry, because I hadn't wiped away my tears.

"Oh, in what way?" Meryl asked. Her voice was now calm again.

"I'm not sure. All I know is, that I can't stop staring at him and I can't stop thinking about him either."

"Maybe you like him," Meryl joked satisfied that I was okay. "Anyway, I've got to get some work done. Tell Vash not to bug me when he gets home, okay?"

I smiled down at her.

"Okay," I said with a laugh in my voice and I watched her walk back to her room to do some work.

As soon as Meryl closed her bedroom door, my smile dropped. I know she was only joking, but what if I really do like Mr. Knives in a romantic way. Mr. Knives was the man that lead to My Nicholas's death. How could I have feelings for him?

END OF PT. 3


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